Michael's Diary

And onto The Pacific Arts centre, Birkenhead, I think the biggest venue on the tour. You drove through the back of the venue into this huge, what looked like a bus depot... well it actually had 2 old museum piece buses in there, as well bizarrely a guitar shop? The tour bus backed right up to the back of the stage, which again was a strange set-up. You walked up the steps onto this huge stage and looked out across the venue which had a balcony around the top floor, really nice place! The huge stage had a PA and light rig to go with it. So come stage time we headed out to I think around 700 people, fantastic! We played a great set and the crowd were fantastic all be it one geezer of whom can only be described as a tosser, who thought it would be big and clever to heckle throughout the set. People like that annoy the f@%k out of me. We're up there working our arses off, everybody is enjoying themselves but obviously this guy wants to be centre of attention so starts mouthing off. What gets me is do they think they look really cool, really big and clever, like the guy stood next to him is gonna go "hey man you're really funny, let me buy you a drink." Or more the case that 699 people think you're a wanker! The one good thing about having a 10000 watt PA behind you is no matter what you're gonna be louder than them, you say "hey I didn't catch that", they answer and as they do you strike a huge chord on the guitar then it's "pardon I didn't hear that", they pipe up again and BBBRRRAAANNNGGG, "sorry missed that," they eventually get the picture and shut-up after making complete arses of themselves. It's part and parcel of being in a band, you gotta deal with it. One of my favourites is when someone heckles you "play something we know" a quick reply "I think it'd be better if we played something we knew!" Depending on how pissed they are depends on the look of total confusion and you carry on into the next number.

Onto what was supposed to be the last night of the tour, South Shields. We trekked up to Newcastle that day and arrived out on the docks of the Tyne river (I think?). Another huge arts centre, this time though it was a completely seated theatre, 401 capacity. Apparently it had sold out in a few days and they'd been enough people wanting tickets to sell the place out 3 times over! It was a really nice venue. The guys we had doing our sound had never really done a rock band before, more used to theatre productions, plays etc. But they really pulled their fingers out and got us a great sound. Come performance time we were stood in the wings, the audience chatting away. As we walked on a deadly silence fell across the room. Have you ever heard Pink Floyds album 'Wish you were here' the segue before 'Have a cigar' where you can here the audience all quieten down to pin drop volume, well it was like that. We plugged in and thought oh sod it, "you guys alright?" Just having a little banter with the audience to break the tension, "OK are you ready?" And off we went into Heavy Stone. It is a strange feeling playing to a theatre audience, everybody is really quiet and attentive which is great in one respect but can be quite nerve racking when you're use to the energy and buzz of a standing audience. However, once we got into it we played a great set, very relaxed. We recorded the whole gig and it was interesting looking back at it, a really tight, yet relaxed performance, just how you want it. By now everyone was starting with colds, I remember Lee being full of a head cold, didn't stop him drinking though, several hot toddies with treble whisky... purely medicinal of course!

The last two dates of the tour were added on, one in Blackpool, one back down in London at Sutton football club. We arrived at Blackpool's Kite Club around 4pm in pouring rain. Everyone was a little tired, feeling a bit rough, we'd been on the road for nearly 3 weeks, this being the 15th date of the tour. Saying that it was another gig and we were up for it 100% come hell or high water. The gig was booked separately from the tour by a local Blackpool promoter, so it was nothing to do with the company we'd been working with. We'd managed to fall out with this promoter after a few unprofessional comments on his part towards us after being in the venue for only 5 minutes. The guy had made a few remarks that were just out of order and totally unnecessary. When Joe caught wind of this he came storming in and put the guy right in his place. I won't go into what was said, but Joe laid it down as a true professional and the guy apologised, fair enough. Thanks to Joe for stepping in. The venue though... Phoenix Nights anyone? It was a huge working mans club, the stage was about 10ft in the air with a 'wonderful' paper machet 'Gates if Graceland' off to one side by the stage door, silver spangly streamers everywhere and a gold lame back drop... tasteful!!! I think the idea was for the act to walk through the gates in a 'stars in their eyes' kinda style. This was not gonna happen, when we came on we walked round the front passed the front row and up the other side of the stage, it was amusing to say the least. Obviously Joe couldn't do that, didn't want to have to squeeze past his audience to get to the stage, which is completely understandable, so had to come through the doors. I have a vivid memory of the look on Bogie, Marks and Joe's faces as they walked through the gates, very funny, very Spinal Tap and as Bogie put it "a little bit manky"!

Although the crowd were great and very supportive, our set was plagued with technical glitches which hampered our performance, not that I think anyone noticed but you have standards you wanna attain every gig and when things are below par it kinda gets to you. I do recall my guitar conked out halfway through the set, big thanks to Dave who was on the side of the stage to help sort out the problems. Carl was without a drum monitor so sound onstage wasn't great but hey you deal with it ya know. I don't know what it is but I think we just have bad karma with Blackpool, we've never had a good gig there, not down to the audience or people, don't get me wrong, it's like a jinx, if something can go wrong it does and that night had been no exception. After Joe had finished we repaired to the next door bar where god bless there was a full on 'Elvis' style singer doing the full works to 40 old dears having a right knees up, the dudes silver spangly shirt was a work of fashion genius, quite a statement. We considered for a while getting the band some for on stage, but realised it was the wine talking. We sat at the bar with Dave and Aaron (from Texas I hasten to add) showing them a classic night out in a British working mans club... they were dumbfounded. I remember Aaron getting ear bent by two old dears who were quite taken by his accent. There had been a lack of female company on the tour, we just figured Aaron was getting a little desperate so we managed to drag him away before things took a turn for the bizarre! Oh Blackpool... fond memories ahem.

After a day off at home catching up on sleep we headed off for London and the final gig of the tour, Sutton United football club, The Boom Boom Rooms! There were a few creases to iron out regards stage set-up that Joe and the guys weren't happy with. The stage was a little bit on the high side (or the ceiling on the low side), Mark the bass player stands at around 6 ft 4 and was basically scraping his head on the ceiling, no stage diving for him. The lighting guy had set up all these huge par cans around Bogies drum kit which after 2 minutes probably would have incinerated the guy, or give him one hell of a sun tan. All these problems were met with a good laugh though, it was the last gig of the tour and after some of the Spinal Tap moments we'd been through nothing was surprising anyone. Both me and Joe nearly managed to put our guitars through the ceiling during sound check, just one of those things. We shared the dressing room, which was actually the clubs boardroom, very nice apart from the distinct smell of cat pee... hmmm.

We were ready for the off and squeezed ourselves onto the stage, we'd been spoilt I think but it was a much smaller area than we'd become accustomed to. Carl had to use Bogie's drum kit because there was no way we were gonna get both kits up there. And I was practically sat on my amps, wedged between them and my foot board on the very edge of the stage. What was good though was that the audience were stood 2 feet infront of you so gave that really intimate club atmosphere, and man that crowd was up for it. We went for broke and just leathered through the set, a great atmosphere, the crowd excellent! It was our final blow out, mid set drinks are being passed our way from Dave who'd mixed up superior glasses of vodka with the slightest hint of orange, a real screwdriver! We toasted Joe, the band and crew and of course the fine audience, and launched into our last number 'Ain't No Sin' with an extended jam at the end of The Doors '5 to 1' and Hendrix's 'Hey Joe.' It was a great end to the tour!

We retired for a final time to the dressing room for drinks and to unwind which everyone did in style, man we got drunk! We stood at the side of the stage watching Joe, Bogie and Mark for a good while just soaking in the last moments of a great tour and a great band. I'd seen Joe play 15 gigs in a row and still wanted to watch that gut play, a real talent, mesmerising! By the end of Joe's set everyone was in the dressing room getting well oiled, to be honest I was pretty far gone and only remember certain bits of it. We have some signed weighing scales that Joe gave us... no I don't know why either but hey, makes an interesting talking point if nothing else. We took final group pics and all said our goodbyes. The tour was over.

We travelled home the next day, oh were we hungover... But it has to be said it was a great experience, we played with a great band in front of some fine audiences in some quality venues, what more could you ask for?!

Well if you've managed to read through this diatribe good on ya, I hope it's been an insight in part to what it's like being on tour with a band for 3 weeks. Here's to the next tour!